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Wednesday 19 March 2014

Zarina Zabrisky


CARVED

 carved
 from an unborn rib
 before dawn
 hours all wrong
 
 i waited
 for the sun

 my mouth
 stuffed with
 the cotton wool
 of sunless dread

 

 my own ribcage--
 a human cage
 for my body

 

 my own ribs--
 the teeth
 gnawing on
 the yearning hole

 

 but for the others--
 i turned into a toy:

 

 button holes
 for eyes,
 black scratches
 for tears,
 lips sewn
 in a coy
 smile.

 

 a velvet
 pussy cat
 voiceless
 clawless
 soulless

 

 at midday
 i tore
 through the fake furs,
 i turned
 into a scary bird

 

 i flew out
 through the window
 glass shards
 for feathers

 

 wings growing
 through my ribs
 at all angles
 barbed wire
 of the freedom
 and terror

 

 and i screamed
 at the empty corners

 

 not from pain
 

 i screamed for you--
 

 a street walker
 a rope walker--  

 said the passer bys
 

 i ripped
 a jagged wound
 for my mouth
 blood lipstick
 all pretty

 

 not a song
 parted my lips
 not a moan

 

 it was a prayer
 to be heard

 

 but
 

 not for pain
 i screamed at the corners,
 oh deaf strangers

 

 when it hurts
 i am silent

 

 a steel blade of the broken knife
 with ice of indifference  

 cuts from my throat to my cunt
 fits tight
 fills the void of the lost rib
 at the core

 

 pain is me
 

 at the corners
 i screamed
 my soul desire

 

 last night
 i felt
 the translucent skin
 of our cells
 merging
 fusing together
 an amalgalm
 of you and me
 spiraling up
 sparkling like
 the whiteness of the bone
 in the hotness of the joint
 the watermelon broken in snow
 shards of milky glass
 splinters of DNA
 diamonds hidden in the depth
 of the sugary watermelon
 chunks of sacred meat
 vein juices bleeding
 from torn sweet flesh
 split
 as i was born back into you


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